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The Prosecution: Beth

At times she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

She is an extrovert, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She creates video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. Sometimes I'm captured while dining, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it comes like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our friendship has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which was nice, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times it seems that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with another. It’s so silly. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an audience. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the content we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the nuances, sharing them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Taking her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to witness exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see what the content we make together can achieve: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my private filmmaker, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I would never deliberately embarrass her. But creating content jointly sometimes is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship profoundly and want to avoid making videos to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a substitute for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more uncomfortable than having a companion point a camera at you. I understand that it's her passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn't imply all those around her is willing material. She needs to respect Beth’s privacy.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some real memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she’s working. Both seem confused as to where the line is. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their friendship?